I can't believe how long it has been since I've posted a blog here...I'm a bad blogger, I know. I've been very busy in 2006. Started dating again, met a wonderful man from Scotland, went to visit him after Christmas and got engaged! I still managed to read 40 books in 2006; that doesn't include the 26 that I labeled as lost causes because I couldn't get through them. Here are my picks for the best reads of 2006:
L.A. WOMAN by Cathy Yardley
EVER MOVED TO A CITY YOU DIDN'T KNOW, FOR A GUY WHO WASN'T WORTH IT...ALL BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE IN LOVE?
Sarah Walker has.
She's just moved to Los Angeles and changed her whole life in anticipation of cohabitation with her fiancé, Benjamin. But he stalls, AGAIN. Pushed to the limit, the stability-seeking Sarah snaps and actually finds herself dumping him. Now she's in free fall: no fiancé, no job. No idea what to do next.According to her new roommate Martika, Sarah is now in the PERFECT place to start life in L.A.Before she knows it, Sarah becomes Martika's project, getting pulled headlong into a crazy, chaotic world of nightclubs and day jobs, where the only constant is change. Sarah's about to discover that "single" isn't a dirty word. Not that she'll be staying single for long....
CARPE DEMON: ADVENTURES OF A DEMON HUNTING SOCCER MOM by Julie Kenner
Lots of women put their careers aside once the kids come along. Kate Connor, for instance, hasn't hunted a demon in ages. That must be why she missed the one wandering through the pet food aisle of the San Diablo Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, he managed to catch her attention an hour later-when he crashed into the Connor house, intent on killing her. Now Kate has to clean up the mess in her kitchen, dispose of a dead demon, and pull together a dinner party that will get her husband elected to County Attorney-all without arousing her family's suspicion. Worse yet, it seems the dead demon didn't come alone... It's time for Kate Connor to go back to work.
SEE JANE DATE by Melissa Senate
A FANCY AFFAIR BRIDAL SALONFOREST HILLS, QUEENS
"Did you know that one of your hips is higher than the other?" the seamstress asked me in a totally conversational tone. The bridesmaid to my left eyed me in the mirror, then her gaze dropped to my hips.
"I didn't," I said. "I never knew that. But I'm glad you told me."
The seamstress had the decency to look embarrassed. She ducked her head back down and continued pinning. Perhaps that had been the reason why Blind Dates One, Two and Three hadn't been interested. It wasn't the smoking, after all. It was my Hip Issue. And just my luck that Blind Date Four was with a doctor, whose business it was to notice such deformities.
SEE JANE DATE will speak to singles everywhere. At once warm and witty, this look into the life of twenty-eight-year-old assistant editor Jane Gregg, screams, "You are not alone!"
Case in point: See Jane... * Endure two months of bridesmaid hell for her younger cousin's wedding. * Brilliantly dodge being fixed up with Grammy's next-door neighbor by fibbing that she, um, already HAS a boyfriend. * Date... like crazy to find one suitable guy to bring to said wedding.
Okay, find one suitable guy to LOVE.
Was that so much to ask?
OVER HER DEAD BODY by Kate White
I pushed the door to Mona's office fully open. She was lying on the floor just in front of her desk, face-up, dressed in black pants and top, her arms and legs twitching violently as if she had touched a high-voltage wire...
Talk about rapid turnover --- in a matter of days Bailey Weggins gets axed from one New York magazine and hired by another. Her new job at Buzz, a weekly filled with sizzling gossip, has Bailey covering celebrity crime, including the starlet who got caught stuffing Fendi purses down her pants and the aging hunk who shot his lover with a Magnum.
And Bailey doesn't have to look far for her next story: she finds her boss, Mona Hodges, gasping her last breath after being bludgeoned with a blunt object. A raging tyrant, Mona made Buzz a top 'zine but racked up an impressive enemies list along the way. Everyone from a chubby singer she dubbed "Fat Chance" to a mail guy she once reamed out would be glad to see Mona six feet under. And Bailey Weggins intends to get the scoop on whodunit even though one of her closest friends is at the top of the suspects list.
Now, with her strappy sandals in one hand and her cell phone in the other, Bailey's out hunting for clues everywhere from the mean streets of Brooklyn's Little Odessa to a posh company picnic in the Hamptons. In just about a New York minute she's got a crush on a sexy filmmaker --- and some scary insight into her boss's murder. The first can give her the hot summer fling she's itching to have. The second can get her killed...
YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS by Laurie Graff
TALES FROM THE DATING POND
"It only takes one.""There are a lot of other fish in the sea.""Every pot has a cover."
"When it's your time, it will just happen."
Ugh!
Karrie Kline had heard it all. But her search for the perfect man had never been all that pressing until her laugh lines became more noticeable, she attended one too many bridal showers and woke up next to far too many never-gonna-commit men. Suddenly, she realized that finding someone to love (and who actually loved her back) WAS important. Karrie wanted more. But knowing what she wanted, and actually getting what she wanted... well, that was a lot to think about.Through her wry, witty and sometimes wrenching recollections, join Karrie as she looks back at over fifteen years of dating vignettes involving disastrous fix-ups, strange chance encounters and missed opportunities. From the shortest date in Manhattan history, to Mr. FamousHollywoodTelevisionActor who was more bark than bite, these are tales for every woman -- whether she's found her Prince Charming, or her lips are incredibly chapped from kissing her own share of frogs.
A CONNECTICUT FASHIONISTA IN KING ARTHUR'S COURT by Marianne Mancusi
THE LEGEND YOU ONLY THOUGHT YOU KNEW.
Once upon a time there lived an outspoken fashion editor named Kat, who certainly was not your typical damsel in distress. But when a gypsy curse sent her back in time to the days of King Arthur, she found she'd need every ounce of her 21st century wits (and pop culture references) to navigate the legend. After all, surviving a magical plot, an evil prince, and a case of mistaken identity -- all without changing history or scuffing your Manolos -- takes some doing!
Luckily, she's got her very own knight in shining armor, Lancelot du Lac, on her side. The honorable-to-a-fault and devastatingly handsome champion insists on helping her out, even though she's not quite sure she wants him to. After all, shouldn't he be off romancing Queen Guenevere or something? Will Kat manage to stay out of trouble long enough to get back to her beloved café lattes, cosmopolitans and cashmere? And what will Lancelot's forbidden love mean for the kingdom of Camelot?
THE BROKER by John Grisham
In his final hours in the Oval Office, the outgoing President grants a controversial last-minute pardon to Joel Backman, a notorious Washington power broker who has spent the last six years hidden away in a federal prison. What no one knows is that the President issues the pardon only after receiving enormous pressure from the CIA. It seems Backman, in his power broker heyday, may have obtained secrets that compromise the world's most sophisticated satellite surveillance system.
Backman is quietly smuggled out of the country in a military cargo plane, given a new name, a new identity, and a new home in Italy. Eventually, after he has settled into his new life, the CIA will leak his whereabouts to the Israelis, the Russians, the Chinese, and the Saudis. Then the CIA will do what it does best: sit back and watch. The question is not whether Backman will survive#there is no chance of that. The question the CIA needs answered is, who will kill him?
THE ERSATZ ELEVATOR by Lemony Snicket
If you were an orphan sent to live with Jerome and Esme Squalor in their huge penthouse apartment, you might think thoughts that could be described using words like "pleased" or "overjoyed." Then again, you are not one of the Baudelaire orphans, who have met with so much misfortune that their thoughts can usually only be described using words like "nervous" or "anxious."In this book alone, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny encounter such unpleasant things as a dark passageway, parsley soda, and a waiter dressed as a salmon. They also once again meet up with Count Olaf, who is as intent as ever upon stealing their fortune.People who read books written by Lemony Snicket often learn interesting facts, like the difference between the words "nervous" and "anxious." But keep in mind that you could learn facts like this by reading the dictionary, a book which also contains pleasant words like "amuse" and "sparkle," which you won't read anywhere in this book.
THE UNDOMESTIC GODDESS by Sophie Kinsella
Workaholic attorney Samantha Sweeting has just done the unthinkable. She's made a mistake so huge, it'll wreck any chance of a partnership.Going into utter meltdown, she walks out of her London office, gets on a train, and ends up in the middle of nowhere. Asking for directions at a big, beautiful house, she's mistaken for an interviewee and finds herself being offered a job as housekeeper. Her employers have no idea they've hired a lawyer --- and Samantha has no idea how to work the oven. She can't sew on a button, bake a potato, or get the #@%# ironing board to open. How she takes a deep breath and begins to cope --- and finds love --- is a story as delicious as the bread she learns to bake.But will her old life ever catch up with her? And if it does .... will she want it back?
CONVERSATIONS WITH THE FAT GIRL by Liza Palmer
Maggie and Olivia have been best friends since they were in grade school. Both overweight, they befriended each other when no one else would. Now grown up, Maggie is still shopping in the euphemism-if-there-ever-was-one "women's section," while Olivia went and had gastric bypass surgery in search of the elusive size 4, the holy grail for women everywhere. So now Olivia's thin and blond and getting married to a handsome surgeon, and Maggie's the fat bridesmaid, again, in charge of planning "The Shower" and keeping Olivia's secret: that she's really a fat girl in a thin body. Ain't life grand?
With wit and wisdom, Liza Palmer gives voice to women everywhere who wish for just once that they could forget about their weight.
HIT REPLY by Rocki St. Claire
What's worse than spam, more dangerous than cyber sex, and scarier than getting a computer virus? An Instant Message from the guy who got away ten years ago....
grayscale: amber fleece? is that you?
foreveramber: OMG. Am I dreaming?
grayscale: it's me, toots. amazing how many people this classreunion.com thing unearthed.
foreveramber: Sort of like worms.
What happens when a randomly accessed memory changes from a harmless Google to rekindled love? Someone has to draw the line between adultery and e-dultery...
to: wonderwoman
from: tmark
Hey gorgeous. I'm back in the halls of the old workplace.
to: tmark
from: wonderwoman
Just when I thought it was safe to go on line....
to: wonderwoman
from: tmark
I think of you every time I pass the video closet... remember?
to: tmark
from: wonderwoman
Sorry, Tom, I've gone down the mommy track and not even you can derail me. (I hope.)
Hit Reply is what happens when female friends turn to former lovers --- and each other --- to find fulfillment.
foreveramber: I'm 28, in advertising, single, and you know what I need the most?wonderwoman: You need the strength of character to survive corporate politics, the confidence to believe in your inner beauty, and a trip to the Borghese counter.
foreveramber: Nah. I need a guy who looks like Brad Pitt.
WATERMELON by Marian Keyes
At twenty-nine, fun-loving, good-natured Claire has everything she ever wanted: a husband she adores, a great apartment, a good job. Then, on the day she gives birth to her first baby, James visits her in the recovery room to inform her that he's leaving her. And he hasn't even had the decency to leave her for someone glamorous; just the frumpy woman who lives in the apartment downstairs.... Claire is left with a beautiful newborn daughter, a broken heart, and a body that she can hardly bear to look at in the mirror. Until quite recently especially when wearing a green maternity jumper that was the only thing left that fit her -- she felt she bore an uncomfortable resemblance to a popular summer fruit.So, in the absence of any better offers, Claire decides to go home to her family in Dublin. To her gorgeous man-eating sister Helen, her soap-watching mother, her bewildered father. And there, sheltered by the love of an (albeit quirky) family, she gets better. A lot better. In fact, so much better that when James slithers back into her life, he's in for a bit of a surprise.
MATCH ME IF YOU CAN by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
Annabelle Granger wouldn't exactly call herself poised, polished, and sophisticated. But determined she is. Now that she's inherited her grandmother's matchmaking business, Perfect For You, she'll stop at nothing to make it a success. All she needs to do is land a major client, namely Heath Champion, the best sports agent in Chicago, if not the country. Unfortunately, he's also the most ruthless. True, Heath is wealthy and sexy. But he's also arrogant enough to frighten away even Annabelle's best candidates. But Annabelle's worked too hard to let her business fail. She'll do whatever it takes to find a woman for Heath --- no matter who that woman turns out to be....
DEFINITELY DEAD by Charlaine Harris
As a person with so few living relatives, Louisiana cocktail waitress Sookie Stackhouse really hated to lose one. But she never guessed that it would be her cousin Hadley---a consort of the vampire queen of New Orleans. After all, technically speaking, Hadley was already dead. And now, as unexpected heir to Hadley's estate, Sookie discovers the inheritance definitely comes with a risk.Someone doesn't want Sookie looking too deeply into Hadley's past---or for that matter, Hadley's possessions. And they're prepared to do anything in their power to stop her. But who? The range of suspects runs from the rogue weres who reject Sookie as a friend of the pack to the vampire queen herself, who could be working through a particularly vulnerable subject---Sookie's first love, Bill.Whoever it is, they're definitely dangerous and Sookie's life is definitely on the line.
TWELVE SHARP by Janet Evanovich
Welcome to Trenton, New Jersey, where bounty hunter Stephanie Plum's life is about to implode in Janet Evanovich's wildest, hottest novel yet!
FIRST A STRANGER APPEARS
While chasing down the usual cast of miscreants and weirdos Stephanie discovers that a crazed woman is stalking her.
THEN THE STRANGER REVEALS HER SECRETS
The woman dresses in black, carries a 9mm Glock, and has a bad attitude and a mysterious connection to dark and dangerous Carlos Manoso …street name, Ranger.
NEXT, SOMEBODY DIES
The action turns deadly serious, and Stephanie goes from hunting skips to hunting a murderer.
SOON, THE CHASE IS ON
Ranger needs Stephanie for more reasons than he can say. And now, the two are working together to find a killer, rescue a missing child, and stop a lunatic from raising the body count.
When Stephanie Plum and Ranger get too close for comfort, vice cop Joe Morelli (her on-again, off-again boyfriend) steps in. Will the ticking clock stop at the stroke of twelve, or will a stranger in the wind find a way to stop Stephanie Plum…forever?
Filled with Janet Evanovich's trademark action, nonstop adventure, and sharp humor, Twelve Sharp shows why her novels have been called "hot stuff" (The New York Times), and Evanovich herself "the master" (San Francisco Examiner).
DARK SIDE OF THE MOON by Sherrilyn Kenyon
Susan Michaels was once the hottest reporter on the Beltway Beat until a major scandal ruined her life and left her writing stories about alien babies and Elvis sightings. Life as she once knew it is over, or so she thinks, but then she gets a lead on a story that could salvage her extinct career. She heads to the local animal shelter, expecting a hot news tip, which she gets in the form of a major police cover-up...for a ring of soul-sucking vampires out to take over Seattle. So much for saving her credibility.
And if that isn't bad enough, she gets talked into adopting a cat and finds she's allergic to it. A cat that turns out to be a shapeshifter who claims to be an immortal vampire slayer on the prowl for the same corrupt cops. Her first thought: seek professional help.
But as Susan's drawn into Ravyn's dark and dangerous world, she comes to realize that there's a lot more at stake than just her defunct career. Now it's no longer a question of bringing the truth to her readers; it's a matter of saving their very lives and souls.
Ravyn's life was shattered over four hundred years ago, when he mistakenly trusted the wrong human with the truth of his existence. He lost his family, his honor, and his life. Now, in order to save the people of Seattle, he's forced to confront that nightmare all over again, and to trust another woman with the secret that could destroy him.
In the world of the Dark-Hunters, life is always dangerous. But never more so than now, when a very human woman can shatter their entire world with just one story. The only question is...will she?
THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UNDEAD by Kim Harrison
It's a tough life for witch Rachel Morgan, sexy, independent bounty hunter, prowling the darkest shadows of downtown Cincinnati for criminal creatures of the night.She can handle the leather-clad vamps and even tangle with a cunning demon or two. But a serial killer who feeds on the experts in the most dangerous kind of black magic is definitely pressing the limits.
Confronting an ancient, implacable evil is more than just child's play -- and this time, Rachel will be lucky to escape with her very soul.
THE LUST LIZARD OF MELANCHOLY COVE by Christopher Moore
The town psychiatrist has decided to switch everybody in Pine Cove, California, from their normal antidepressants to placebos, so naturally—well, to be accurate, artificially—business is booming at the local blues bar. Trouble is, those lonely slide-guitar notes have also attracted a colossal sea beast named Steve with, shall we say, a thing for explosive oil tanker trucks. Suddenly, morose Pine Cove turns libidinous and is hit by a mysterious crime wave, and a beleaguered constable has to fight off his own gonzo appetites to find out what's wrong and what, if anything, to do about it.
BOOKENDS by Jane Green
On the heels of her national bestsellers JEMIMA J and MR. MAYBE, British sensation Jane Green delivers a sparkling tale of old friends reunited and old jealousies rekindled.
Catherine Warner and Simon Nelson are best friends: total opposites, always together, and both unlucky in love. Cath is scatterbrained, messy, and -- since she had her heart broken a few years back -- emotionally closed off. Si is impossibly tidy, bitchy, and desperate for a man of his own. They live in London's West Hampstead along with their lifelong friends, Josh and Lucy, who are happily married with a devil-spawn child and a terrifying Swedish nanny, Ingrid.
All's well (sort of) until the sudden arrival of a college friend -- the stunningly beautiful Portia, who's known for breaking hearts. Though they've grown up and grown apart from Portia, the four friends welcome her back into the fold. But does Portia have a hidden agenda or is she merely looking to reconnect with old friends? Her reappearance soon unleashes a rollicking series of events that tests the foursome's friendships to the limit and leaves them wondering if a happy ending is in store.
Fortunately, Cath has plenty to take her mind off Portia's schemes -- like her gutsy decision to leave her job in advertising to fulfill her dream of opening a bookstore. And then there's James, the sexy real-estate agent who keeps dropping by even after the bookstore deal is done. With his irresistible smile and boyish charm could he be the one to melt Cath's heart?
Told with Jane Green's captivating wit and flare, BOOKENDS is above all a story about friendship -- its twists, turns and complications -- and how it weathers the challenges of love, ambition, marriage, and, most of all, growing up. Warmhearted, sophisticated, and full of delicious surprises, BOOKENDS is Green's most dazzling novel yet.
EVERYONE WORTH KNOWING by Lauren Weisberger
An irresistible tale about what happens when a girl on the fringe enters the realm of New York's chic, party-hopping elite.
On paper, Bette Robinson's life is good. At twenty-six, she's got a great deal on an apartment in Manhattan, and she's on target to become an associate at the prestigious investment bank where she works with her best friend. Her eighty-hour work weeks might keep her from socializing or dating outside her office walls -- but she's paying her dues on the well-trod path to wealth and happiness. So when Bette quits her job like the impulsive girl she's never been, she not only shocks her friends and family -- she has no idea what to do next.For months, Bette gets out and about by walking her four-pound dog around her decidedly unglamorous Murray Hill neighborhood. Then she meets Kelly, head of Manhattan's hottest PR and events planning firm, and suddenly Bette has a brand-new job where the primary requirement is to see and be seen.The work at Kelly & Company takes Bette inside the VIP rooms of the city's most exclusive nightclubs, to parties crowded with celebrities and socialites. Bette learns not to blink at the famous faces, the black Amex cards, the magnums of Cristal, or the ruthless paparazzi. Soon she's dating an infamous playboy who's great for her career but bad for her sanity -- and scaring off the one decent guy she meets. Still, as her coworkers repeatedly point out, how can you complain about a job that pays you to party? Bette has to agree -- until she begins appearing in a vicious new gossip column. That's when Bette's life on paper takes on a whole new meaning -- and she learns the line between her personal and professional lives is... invisible.
STRAIGHT UP AND DIRTY: A MEMOIR by Stephanie Klein
"I did have my own friends, my own salary, my health, and TiVo: all the important things we're likely to take for granted. Still, when it hit that I'd now have to date again, I panicked. Dating meant nightclubs, heels, and black. It meant, 'No, thank you. Really, I'm full.' It meant matching bras and underwear. Clothes with the micro used to describe them. Because until you date again, people will hiccup lines about getting back on horses. So you invest in an Agent Provocateur whip and a subscription to an online dating service. . . ." --from Straight Up and Dirty
She had every girl's dream: the perfect marriage to the perfect guy in the perfect apartment on the Upper East Side. Marriage fit Stephanie Klein like a glove . . . but unfortunately it fit her husband like a noose.
And then, just like that, Klein found herself "divorced when you're firm, fashionable, and let's face it—fetching." Celebrated bloggist, photographer, and freelance writer Stephanie Klein lets it all hang out in this juicy tell-all tracing her jump back into single life following her divorce. On the dating advice of her therapist, Klein attempts to keep "a pair and a spare" of men always on hand and has lots of bawdy fun along the way. But when the anniversary of the devastating breakup from her "wasband" forces her to revisit what happened, she finds herself wanting more than her therapist's recommended gimmick to keep her emotionally safe. Straight Up and Dirty demonstrates that the true measure of success isn't what's crossed off life's to-do list. It's having the grace and fortitude to move through change, curls intact and smiling.
MAD RIVER ROAD by Joy Fielding
After spending a year in prison, Ralph Fisher has explicit plans for his first night of freedom: tonight, someone will be held accountable. He goes to murderous lengths to obtain the address of his former wife - the woman he blames for his fate and against whom he has sworn vengeance. Determined to bring her to his idea of justice, Ralph's next step is to travel from Florida's sandy beaches to Dayton, Ohio, where his ex-wife is struggling to make ends meet on Mad River Road.
Also in Florida, Jamie Kellogg wakes from an agonizing nightmare of her mother's funeral, and assesses her life: a pretty but unaccomplished twenty-nine-year-old woman in a dead-end job, with an ex-husband in Atlanta, a married lover in the hospital, and a virtual stranger in her bed. But this stranger is everything the previous men in her life weren't: tender, attentive, and adventurous. After convincing Jamie to quit her miserable job and ditch her judgmental, perfectionist sister, he proposes a romantic getaway. While Jamie wonders if this thrilling man might finally be her Prince Charming, they plan a road trip to visit his son, who lives with his mother on a street called Mad River Road...
WHY GIRLS ARE WEIRD by Pamela Ribon
When Anna Koval decides to creatively kill time at her library job in Austin by teaching herself HTML and posting partially fabricated stories about her life on the Internet, she hardly imagines anyone besides her friend Dale is going to read them. He's been bugging her to start writing again since her breakup with Ian over a year ago. And so what if the "Anna K" persona in Anna's online journal has a fabulous boyfriend named Ian? It's not like the real Ian will ever find out about it.
The story started writing itself.
Almost instantly Anna K starts getting e-mail from adoring fans that read her daily postings religiously. One devotee, Tess, seems intent on becoming Anna K's real-life best friend and another, a male admirer who goes by the name of "Ldobler," sounds like he'd want to date Anna K if she didn't already have a boyfriend. Meanwhile, the real Anna can't help but wonder if her newfound fans like her or the alter ego she's created. It's only a matter of time before fact and fiction collide and force Anna to decide not only who she wants to be with, but who she wants to be.
J IS FOR JUDGMENT by Sue Grafton
"J" is for Jaffe: Wendell Jaffe, dead for five years. Or so it seemed until he's spotted in the bar of a dusty resort halfway between Cabo San Lucas and La Paz.Having just paid his wife $500,000, Jaffe's insurance company wants the truth and is willing to hire a private investigator to dig it up. As Kinsey Milhone pushes deeper into the mystery, she explores her own past. In family matters as in crime, she discovers, it's sometimes better to reserve judgment.
THE STARTER WIFE by Gigi Levangie Grazer
IN HOLLYWOOD, THEY LIKE TO LOVE 'EM AND LEAVE 'EM.
When her husband, Kenny, dumps her by cell phone (!) mere months before their ten-year wedding anniversary, Gracie Pollock is dazed and confused. Though life as the wife of a semi-famous Hollywood studio executive often left her yawning, Gracie always believed she and Kenny were different from other Hollywood couples. She never thought she'd be a starter wife. But Kenny has upgraded, and with images of his new pop tartlet girlfriend everywhere Gracie turns, she seeks refuge at her best friend's Malibu mansion. Then a mysterious hunk saves her from drowning and suddenly drowning in her sorrows seems like a waste of time. And when she takes up with Kenny's boss, one of Hollywood's better-known Lotharios, she discovers that maybe life after divorce -- Hollywood-style -- isn't so bad after all!
THE VILE VILLAGE by Lemony Snicket
Someone once said, "It takes a village to raise a child." Obviously that person never visited the town of V.F.D., where unlucky orphans Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire find themselves in this woeful adventure.
The inhabitants of V.F.D. do not do a very good job of raising the Baudelaires, unlss by "a very good job" you mean something like "the villagers require the children to do everyone's chores, then try to burn them at the stake when they break some of the town's 19,833 rules." In addition to ineffective child-rearing practices, this book also contains unpleasant things like a murder of crows, a night spent in jail, and some very strange hats.
