So Surreal

Sometimes, I feel like my life has taken on a sense of the bizarre. I often wonder how it got to be this way with little or no effort on my part; almost as if I have no participation in it. Rob moved out on Thursday as planned. I've taken it a lot better than I thought I would. Maybe that's because he has been spending more and more time away from the house doing his own thing with the skank and less time with me. I have to keep reminding myself that I am better off without his sorry ass. I also have to keep remembering how he has lied and betrayed me. All of the early promises of his support, help and friendship are probably lies too. He knows of the tentative move of June 30 but he's already making excuses of "need to see what is going on" that I can tell he's going to cop out and not help with the move. He's gotten what he wanted. People helped him so when the time comes to return the favor, he won't. I suspected he would do this so I don't know why I am even surprised. Just one more lie and betrayal to add to the list. Now, this is where the bitterness kicks in...I so hope she rips his heart out and stomps it into tiny pieces. I so hope he learns how it feels to be betrayed. I cannot wait to shed his presence from my life.

Because he's already reneging on his earlier promises to help, I had to hook up the DVD player yesterday. In all honesty, if I had taken on a more active participatory role over the last 18 years when it came to the installation of electronics and other things, I probably would have saved a lot of money. In typical Rob fashion (which is giving no thought to cost or logic), he tells me I am going to have to buy a whole new TV because the one I inherited has only one outlet and the splitter as well as the AB switch I bought weren't going to work as the DVD player uses an S video cable. I bought an RF modulator kit and brought it home and hooked it up because he obviously can't spare the time as he said he would. The only snag I ran into was getting audio output during DVD playback. That was easily resolved by changing the audio output selection on the DVD setup menu. A major accomplishment I feel and just in time to watch the new Michael Keaton movie, White Noise, which was very good by the way.

Another sense of the surreal is it is still May and we are already in the triple digits. Today is supposed to get to 111 with heat advisories. God, I hate this state...

I did it!

I put an apartment on hold with a tentative move in date of June 30. If everything goes well with the sale of the house, I should be in my new place then. I was so excited and nervous and scared to death at the same time. My leg was bouncing up and down, which is strange not only to experience but to see....

Anyway, the apartment is in the same building as the one I was hoping for earlier, but it's diagonally behind the other one. The only drawback is the balcony faces west so I will have to do something to minimize that awful afternoon Arizona summer sun. With every downside, there is always an upside, right? So, the upside is where the first apartment's balcony overlooked the parking lot, the one I have on hold overlooks a grassy courtyard area. Very pretty...another upside....the leasing agent told me that if for some reason, the sale of the house does not go through as anticipated and I can't move in on June 30, they will transfer my deposit to another unit. I won't have to forfeit the deposit as I was afraid I would.

Rob is moving out on Thursday into his own apartment in Scottsdale. Not sure how I feel about it other than it really will be for the best for both of us for him to go ahead and leave. Now, I only pray that everything else will move along smoothly and to my benefit. :o)