An eclectic variety of new arrivals to Mount OhMyGodWhenWillIGetAllTheseDamnBooksRead this month...
You Had Me At Halo by Amanda Ashby
Heaven can wait, but not for long.
She’s halfway to heaven…and she’s just been pulled over.
Holly Evans has just seen her own body laid to rest, and if it had been up to her, she wouldn’t have chosen that particular polyester dress for the event. Still, she could live with that (so to speak), if it guaranteed a quick jump to Level 3 of the afterlife, which she hopes will feature both reruns of Friends and reunions with long-lost loved ones.
But Holly has some mortal baggage to unload first, starting with the matter of how she died. Yes, she drowned in her bathtub under suspicious circumstances, but she did not kill herself. Holly had too much to live for, from her recent promotion to taking the next big step in her relationship. OK, her life had a few loose ends, but whose doesn’t? Holly’s heavenly shrink isn’t buying it. He says she has to return to Earth to straighten things out. The problem is, she’ll need to borrow someone’s body to do so, and the body in question belongs to none other than computer geek Vince Murphy. Oh, and although Vince was supposed to have vacated the premises, he apparently never got the memo.
Now Holly has forty-eight hours to resolve her issues while sharing arms, legs, and … other things with a guy she barely noticed while she was alive. But the real surprise is what life has to offer when you have only two days to live it.
The Zygote Chronicles by Suzanne Finnamore
A riotous and poignant novel in journal form that takes us from conception to delivery room...
Suzanne Finnamore’s universally applauded Otherwise Engaged followed one woman’s whirlwind ride from diamond ring to altar. The Zygote Chronicles is Finnamore’s singular take on the next leg of the journey. Through the voice of a whip-smart, sass-talking everywoman, Zygote reveals the unsettling and uproarious truth about pregnancy and the prospect of motherhood, from wicked cravings to homicidal-rampage-inducing pregnancy guides.
When she finds out she's pregnant with her first child, the narrator of The Zygote Chronicles is closer to forty years old than to twenty-two (the latter, she is informed by a homicidal-rampage-inducing pregnancy guide, being the ideal age to have a baby). What unfolds from her very first wry yet heartfelt memo to her unborn child is like a series of x-rays into a pregnant woman's soul, mind, and appetites. Suddenly she is attuned to everything around and inside her and she doles out observations and words of wisdom to her unborn baby accordingly: how a pregnant woman's body becomes public property; the way everyone on the street fancies himself part of the jury when it comes to choosing a name. She captures the many sensory changes her body goes through with uncanny precision and crackling wit, and ponders why her once storybook marriage to the man she waited for all her life, suddenly undergoes an alchemical transformation every time he eats garlic or onions.
The Zygote Chronicles "deserves real praise for having brought the emotional roller-coaster of new motherhood to life with such dignity and style" (The Washington Post). The strange purgatory of pregnancy has been a fact of life since Eve ate the apple, but never has it been recounted in such brilliant, hilarious detail.
The Remains Of The Dead by Wendy Roberts
Sadie Novak has got the kind of job that kills coctail chatter dead: She owns Scene-2-Clean, a crime scene cleaning company. And if wiping up after murders weren't spooky enough, she can also see and talk to the ghosts of the victims.
When a grieving relative hires Sadie and her employee, ex-cop Zack Bowman, to clean up after the murder-suicide of Trudy and Grant Toth, Sadie figures she's bound to encounter at least one chatty ghost. But instead she finds herself talking to Kent, a man she meets at the scene who is very much alive --- so much so that Sadie agrees to go on a date with him.
When a ghost does appear --- the oddly silent Trudy --- the spirit seems determined to prove her husband's innocence, and inspires Sadie to track down the real killer. But as Sadie scours the crime scene, she quickly realizes that she's in way over her head, that Kent has a strange connection to the dead couple, and that someone wants her to give up the ghost ... for good.
The Men I Didn't Marry by Janice Kaplan & Lynn Schnurnberger
Hallie’s husband doesn’t even wait until they get home from dropping off their youngest daughter at Yale to announce that he’s leaving her --- for fitness trainer Ashlee and her perky breasts. After first succumbing to a cookie-induced coma, Hallie is determined to get her life back. Her plan begins with a question: Whatever happened to all those men she didn’t marry? Eric, now one of Forbes’s “Richest People in the World,” wants to renew the investment in their relationship; Hallie’s reunion with Rav Jon Yoma Maharishi --- formerly known as Barry --- might go more smoothly if he weren’t in the midst of a silent meditation; and Kevin, the sexiest man she ever met, is now a scuba-diving photographer. But the biggest surprise of all still awaits Hallie when she confronts the great love she swore she’d never see again.
Slightly Suburban by Wendy Markham
A whole lot scarier than the Big City…
She’s so over the City … but so dreading life without takeout.
It seemed exciting at first, but after two and a half years in New York, Tracey has to admit her life … well, sucks. Sure, she makes a decent living as a copywriter, but Blaire Barnett Advertising is a cutthroat world that basically swallows her life. If she does manage to get home before nine, she’s usually greeted by husband Jack’s best bud, an almost-permanent fixture in their tiny, unaffordable apartment. Add the circus freaks stomping around upstairs, and Tracey decides it’s time to move.
No sooner do she and Jack take the plunge into the nearby suburbs of Westchester than Tracey loses her job. And now they’re in way over their heads. Their fixer-upper is unfixable, the stay-at-home yoga moms are a bore and Tracey yearns for her old friends --- she even misses work!
So which life does she really want? Other than Jack’s wife, who is she? If Tracey merely has to find her own Slightly Suburban niche, it had better be just around the corner, because there are no subways here!
N Is For Noose by Sue Grafton
Kinsey Millhone should have done something else -- she should have turned the car in the direction of home. Instead, she was about to put herself in the gravest jeopardy of her career.
Tom Newquist had been a detective in the Nota Lake sheriff's office -- a tough, honest cop respected by everyone. When he died suddenly, the townsfolk were saddened but not surprised: Just shy of sixty-five, Newquist worked too hard, smoked too much, and exercised too little. That plus an appetite for junk food made him a poster boy for an American Heart Association campaign.
Newquist's widow didn't doubt the coroner's report. But what Selma couldn't accept was not knowing what had so bothered Tom in the last six weeks of his life. What was it that had made him prowl restlessly at night, that had him brooding constantly? Selma Newquist wanted closure, and the only way she'd get it was if she found out what it was that had so bedeviled her husband.
Kinsey should have dumped the case. It was vague and hopeless, like looking for a needle in a haystack. Instead, she set up shop in Nota Lake, where she found that looking for a needle in a haystack can draw blood. Very likely, her own.
"N" Is for Noose: a novel in which Kinsey Millhone becomes the target and an entire town seems in for the kill.
Like A Charm by Candace Havens
Kira Smythe never thought she'd end up back in her hometown of Sweet, Texas. But now that her high-powered job, along with her five-year plan, have gone right out the window, she's back where she started, staying with her hippie, tofu-obsessed parents-except that somehow she's inherited the local library. At least there's a gorgeous guy in town who seems quite smitten with her. So what if he's got a few secrets up his sleeve? After all, Kira's got her own secrets. Like the dead people who won't stop talking to her. Or the magical books on the shelves. Or the fact that someone who's very much alive seems determined to push her over to the other side.
Lean Mean Thirteen by Janet Evanovich
Dickie Orr. Stephanie was married to him for about fifteen minutes before she caught him cheating on her with her arch-nemesis Joyce Barnhardt. Another fifteen minutes after that Stephanie filed for divorce, hoping to never see either one of them again.
Doing favors for super bounty hunter Carlos Manoso (a.k.a. Ranger). Ranger needs her to meet with Dickie and find out if he's doing something shady. Turns out, he is. Turns out, he's also back to doing Joyce Barnhardt. And it turns out Ranger's favors always come with a price...
Going completely nutso while doing the favor for Ranger, and trying to apply bodily injury to Dickie in front of the entire office. Now Dickie has disappeared and Stephanie is the natural suspect in his disappearance. Is Dickie dead? Can he be found? And can Stephanie Plum stay one step ahead in this new, dangerous game? Joe Morelli, the hottest cop in Trenton, NJ is also keeping Stephanie on her toes-and he may know more than he's saying about many things in Stephanie's life. It's a cat-and-mouse game for Stephanie Plum, where the ultimate prize might be her life.
Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer
When you loved the one who was killing you, it left you no options. How could you run, how could you fight, when doing so would hurt that beloved one? If your life was all you had to give, how could you not give it? If it was someone you truly loved?
To be irrevocably in love with a vampire is both fantasy and nightmare woven into a dangerously heightened reality for Bella Swan. Pulled in one direction by her intense passion for Edward Cullen, and in another by her profound connection to werewolf Jacob Black, a tumultuous year of temptation, loss, and strife have led her to the ultimate turning point. Her imminent choice to either join the dark but seductive world of immortals or to pursue a fully human life has become the thread from which the fates of two tribes hangs.
Now that Bella has made her decision, a startling chain of unprecedented events is about to unfold with potentially devastating, and unfathomable, consequences. Just when the frayed strands of Bella's life-first discovered in Twilight, then scattered and torn in New Moon and Eclipse-seem ready to heal and knit together, could they be destroyed... forever?
Bit The Jackpot by Erin McCarthy
Falling for a vampire isn’t the weirdest thing that can happen in Vegas --- not by a long shot…
Politics makes strange coffinfellows. Vampire Seamus Fox is supposed to be the campaign manager for a Vampire Nation presidential candidate. But instead, he finds himself running around Vegas, keeping tabs on the candidate’s wife and female entourage.
Seamus has had his fill of women. A disastrous and deadly love affair has haunted him for over two centuries. Talk about baggage. But suddenly he finds himself obsessed by a mysterious stripper who dances behind a screen. The sultry --- yet shy --- Cara Kim whets his appetite for more. But leave it to Seamus to fall fangs over feet for that rarest of Vegas attractions … a good girl.
After a sudden run-in on the street, though, they may soon have a lot more in common…
Anatomy Of A Boyfriend by Daria Snadowsky
Before this all happened, the closest I'd ever come to getting physical with a guy was playing the board game Operation. Okay, so maybe that sounds pathetic, but it's not like there were any guys at my high school who I cared to share more than three words with, let alone my body.
Then I met Wes, a track star senior from across town. Maybe it was his soulful blue eyes, or maybe my hormones just started raging. Either way, I was hooked. And after a while, he was too. I couldn't believe how intense my feelings became, or the fact that I was seeing—and touching—parts of the body I'd only read about in my Gray's Anatomy textbook. You could say Wes and I experienced a lot of firsts together that spring. It was scary. It was fun. It was love.
And then came the fall.
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